The Voice: Dan Palmere's Blog

The Return: A Thanksgiving Day Special

Well, almost a year has passed since my last blog post. Where have I been and why haven't I updated the blog?, you may be asking yourself. I can assure you that the hiatus has proven to be rewarding; it was a time to refocus, organize, learn and most importantly, to live in the moment. My time away allowed me to explore new places in the country and reflect, being on the road for around 6 months throughout the United States.

I am glad to be posting again, beginning today. Looking over the blog for the first time since last year, I noticed that while previous posts were informative, they came across presumptuous at times. I hope to be more aware of that while writing in the future. I also hope to keep everyone informed of more happenings in my life, as many things are beginning to shift around. 

On this Thanksgiving Day, I am thankful for the many blessings given to me in my life: family, friends, talents, health and life. This is always a good day to take an inventory in your life and realize how much you actually have to be thankful for, even if certain things may be disguised as blessings.

Thank you for reading. May you have a blessed and joyous Thanksgiving Day and weekend! 

Yours truly,

Dan 

 

What You Say About Others Reveals A Lot About You

"How positively you see others is linked to how happy, kind-hearted and emotionally stable you are."

Read the rest of this great article here. 

Thought to begin the week

The appropriate response to life is applause. 

Consideration for Tomorrow

(This is a new segment of posts I'll be starting. They're basically just thoughts I jot down or come up with during the day to bring into consideration for the next day.)

Have you noticed that many people avoid eye contact nowadays? 

Try this: As they walk towards you, look right at them, smile and say hi!

Today's Reflection

By looking to find someone else to blame, we are failing to deal with our own mind.

When we look at most conflict in the world and through our day to day interactions, we begin to notice how blame can easily get shifted off our shoulders and onto others'. It's convenient to point a finger in order to protect our sense of self. We don't want to be proven wrong, attacked, or taken advantage of. 

I was thinking of metaphors for what the action of blame is like in life and came up with this: You're playing Monopoly and it's late in the game and you find yourself going to jail once again. You're relieved because you don't have to face the row of hotels in front of you for the time being; there's a sense of comfort and safety, but you know you have to face the board eventually. Part of the fun is seeing how we're able to get out paying rent on those properties. If we never left jail, the game would be endless and grow stale. 

Blame is like that. We face many adversaries day to day and often habitually retreat to our safety zone of, "I didn't do anything wrong here. This person/event has made my day really difficult." Stepping out of that comfort zone, we can see that beyond the "drama" there's an undercurrent of good things happening all around us at any given moment. We may "land on a property with a hotel" in life, but inevitably we always shake it off with a laugh; and if not a laugh, we grow wiser for the experience. By pointing a finger, we've completely ruled out 50% of the problem: our perspective. 

Being honest in my own experience, I find that in unpleasant circumstances, I quickly place blame on another person for causing this thing to happen. There is a definite sense of ignorance and lack of trust in the situation. A common pattern in my life is that of withdrawing from challenges (not wanting to "rock the boat", per se) and using so much energy to fight what has crossed paths with me. 

It's upleasant to be afraid. We all work to address our fear in ways that have to do with: "I don't want to be afraid right now. I'm in this meeting and have to talk and feel embarrassed and anxious. I need to get rid of the things that scare me because I want to be able to perform." 

You have to start with the basics: dealing with what's presented to you in a mindful manner; working with things as they come up. You cannot run way from fear or you'll never get past it. If you go toward it, if you have a genuine interest in it, as unpleasant as it may be, you can move through that to fearlessness. If you can catch yourself in the act of blame, if you can see it, then you can do something about it. 

It's really that simple. 

(Photo Credit: momo.echz)

Today's Reflection

When you feel that things are falling apart, contemplate the preciousness of human birth. 

Let your mind rest in a sense of appreciation for life.

Perhaps you have experienced stretches in your life when you feel as if you are constantly the victim. It appears in reflecting on past memories that we are defined by moments that did not go they way we wanted. 

As humans, we pride ourselves as being a rational species. It's actually quite humorous to observe people becoming worked up in the same cycles of disappointment over small issues. Being "rational" is defined as thinking clearly; the mind is fundamentally clear and open. However, when we get carried away by emotion, which by nature is impermanent, we carry around a sensation of "things are falling apart". 

What is rational about struggling with what already is? 

If we look outside ourselves in moments when we experience struggle, a sense of peace, clarity, and friendliness start to appear. 

I noticed this struggle last evening walking past traffic. A car in front of a line was not turning soon enough and I saw people through their windows throwing their hands up in the air, shaking their heads, and laying on the horn. I wondered if they saw themselves as I did, would they react the same way?

The next time you find yourself in a seemingly frustrating circumstance, bring awareness to the beauty of human life and often you'll find the issue to be quite trivial. Notice your breath and remember that you're alive. We are above the thoughts that take control of us. Create space in tense moments. 

Constantly ask yourself, "does what I do have to be driven by anxiety"?

(Photo Credit: Keenahn) 

Look outside yourself in situations like this and notice the beauty all around you.

Today's Reflection

When you are in the grips of anger or desire, contemplate and dismantle the emotion by investigating it. Where did this feeling come from? Where is it dwelling?

This technique has been extremely valuable for me. Our mind is so much like a crystal ball in that we can start off the day with a fairly positive and friendly outlook (clear slate), but in a split second our mind is taken over by a single emotion; we get tunnel vision. 

Our mind is fundamentally open and clear. Emotions are just thoughts with a lot of energy in them. You could address these emotions in the same way you address "lighter thoughts" -- things you see or experience that you brush off almost instantly. We want  to experience sustained feelings of joy (and other positive emotions). This post is specifically addressing the negative emotions that many of us inevitably experience. 

When a strong emotion comes up, we feel triggered and we're not exactly sure where that emotion comes from or what truly caused it. There's a constant stream of negative thought patterns running through our minds: job, relationships, finance, etc. It seems strange just observing those thoughts now, for me, that we would indulge those thoughts as normal or as confirmation that we're in reality, it's a familiar feeling--a reality that seems to be constant suffering for us. 

We can actually be free from this type of negative thinking by recognizing it in the process and saying, "Do I need to go there or can I take a fresh moment, take a breath and change my mind?" 

Photo Credit: Jacob2000  

"Growth is the willingness to let reality be new every moment."

- Deepak Chopra

 

Today's Reflection

The sensible approach is to say, “I can still be irritated ninety percent of the time. But with ten percent of my mind and heart, I’ll try putting others first.”